No, Not My Baby!

OK, so I'm one of those people who privately acclaims, "Yes, it happened to you. But it won't happen to me." During pregnancy I'm sure I tried to envision my baby's face at least a thousand times. We opted not to have the 3D pregnancy ultrasound because quite honestly...they creeped me out and the last thing I needed was a distorted picture of my baby's face floating in my mind on top of all of my other innocuous worries. The 3D U/S pictures I saw future mommies posting on the Baby Bump app looked like little orange characters from a claymation horror film. The babies came out fine of course, but I didn't want to tamper with the perfect image I had concocted in my head of my little bundle.

 I watched a LOT of A Baby Story which may or may not have led to many teary-eyed afternoons on the couch. Very touching material. What was even more touching was how the babies looked when they made their debut into this world. Some were hairy, wrinkly, and slimy. Some were bloody, greyish-blue and covered in icky white stuff. Some had funny shaped heads. Oh, how my heart went out to those moms. "But that won't happen to me," I thought. "When my baby is born she will be a beauty to behold. The nurses and doctors will flood into the room to have a gander at the most beautiful baby they've ever seen!" Yeah. So a rude awakening was in my very near future. When I pushed that last time and my doctor exclaimed, "Look, look!" and I saw my baby girl for the first time under the beaming hospital lights I thought..."Oh no!" She wasn't icky but she was very shiny and...bald. My husband cut the cord and the nurse scooped her up to weigh her and clean her up. I looked over at her little grey, squirmy body and saw that her nose was swollen. So swollen. Her eyes were a bit puffy and she had hair on her ears that reminded me of Wolverine. She also had thick patches of hair on her back and shoulders on top of Mongolian spots on her back. I felt like I had failed her. I don't know how or why, but that's how I felt. I was also slightly disappointed. It's important to note that these were my concerns AFTER I knew she was perfectly healthy.

As part of the "Prepared Childbirth Class" they should warn new mothers of what to expect to see when your baby is first born! They do start off rough but they get cuter. Day one of baby girl's life, my husband left to run a couple of errands and when he returned a little later he looked at the baby and said, "Wow, she's changing already. She looks cuter." An internal sigh of relief. So he'd also noticed that she wasn't ready for any Facebook postings. She wouldn't be ready for another month! Oh but now! Now she looks like a little angel fallen from heaven. Ok, maybe my opinion is biased but I must say I'm very pleased that she's growing into herself and her cuteness. So new moms don't worry!! It's normal to feel disappointment when you see your baby for the first time. Just know it will get better!